Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

"Honest"


I'd like to take this opportunity to quote Weird Al:

"And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds
Let me tell you once again - who's fat?"

Monday, March 29, 2010

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Dueling Tombstones

I present to you tombstone "A":


And tombstone "B":


Which is wreckier? Tombstone A looks to be in the lead because of that giant cloud thing on the top, but wait! Tombstone B comes back with one important detail - it's missing the other person. That's right. The victim on Tombstone B is celebrating tons of precious memories.. with himself. We have a winner.

Friday, March 26, 2010

Horsin' Around


Why the long face?

HA HAHA HA HAHAHA!!!

Oh, I know why. There are only 39 stars on that ridiculously elongated flag.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Politically Incorrect


I vote we update this one to say "him/her".

While we're at it, I think we should just edit the whole damn thing and change it to "Are any of you sad?"

Then I would no longer be sad and therefore would not need to pray.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

It's Tough Being a Girl


"Son" would've fit perfectly. We've seen this before - check out What's Up Daug.

At least "daug" sounded cool. "Dau" is just plain sad. And lame.

Monday, March 22, 2010

"GAY"


I'm gay? The people buried here were gay? The ivy is gay?

Your face is gay.

Sunday, March 21, 2010

I See Dead People


This goes down as the creepiest and therefore one of the coolest tombstones I've seen.

I love that the "man" on the top totally looks like a ghost. It's flair that is timeless.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Friday, March 19, 2010

Neighbors


Not pictured - the tombstone next to this one:

CARING FATHER
"Pussy"

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Claw Your Way to the Top


I wasn't aware that angels were equipped with lobster claw hands.

Is that in the bible somewhere?

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Horse Play


Look into the horse's eye...

You will do what the horse tells you to do. You will construct for him an expensive tombstone. You will adorn it with lovely flowers in the hopes that you do not anger the horse. If you do not do the horse's bidding, the horse will come back as a zombie horse and traipse mud all over your kitchen floor.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Aim High


Look at the hunter's head. Really look at it.

It seems his face has tried to run away but only made it about five inches off his severely crushed skull.

Perhaps all this explains why he's aiming about 2 feet under that deer.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Kaboom


First, I'd like to commend the tombstone guy for utilizing the space on the flower holder (or is that the fishing pole holder?) - excellent work.

Next, I'd like to comment on the large mushroom cloud. Apparently the deer thinks he can outrun the blast, but according to my research*, he should duck and cover under that log.

*Timmy and Jane seem to be safe under their desks in government filmstrips.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Appropriate


Flair that illustrates a surname - awesome.

I can't wait to find tombstones for the Dick family. And the Bush family.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Literally


Tombstone Guy: "We've got the truck on one side, so what do you want on the other side?"

Wreckers: "Oh, um, just throw his tools on there."

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Into the Light


DAMMIT! How in the hell are we supposed to look at Christmas lights?

Monday, March 8, 2010

Vroom


Before you all start sending me hate mail about picking on some poor kid's grave, this tombstone belongs to an adult male*.

Seems innocent enough, right? Nice angel, nice rose, but what's that hiding down there in the corner?

Of course, the nice race car.


*Let's face it. If it belonged to a kid, I still would've posted it. It's my blog. So there.

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Chew On This


The fish is okay, but check out the top corner:


Yes. We have found the impossible. It's can-o-snuff flair.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Custom Order


Surely those juggling pins weren't listed in the standard tombstone flair catalog.

Friday, March 5, 2010

Generation Gap


Just imagine, years from now, people quoting their favorite Lady GaGa songs on their tombstones...

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Crime Does Pay


Okay, a motorcycle, I can do this no problem. Here's the wheels, and the handlebars, and the seat..

Damn, I can't draw the engine because it's all complicated and full of lines and stuff. I'll just leave that blank and say the bike was left unattended in a bad part of town.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Censored


What could be hiding under that gray box? Hmmmm. It starts with F and rhymes with "sucker"...

HA! I had you going for a minute.

No, there's not really a curse word under there. But I do love the fact that the tombstone guy left out the space between big and mother, especially since he had like a mile of space in which to fit this lovely nickname.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Obviously


Okay, okay, I know this is the last name of the victims, but I just can't help but see this as "tombs" misspelled pointing out that there are indeed tombs here.

Monday, March 1, 2010