Saturday, May 29, 2010

Gone Huntin'

To my loyal fans (all ten of you):

I am out this weekend tomb hunting*. Enjoy your holiday weekend and I'll be back on Tuesday with brand new wrecks.

Yours,
Steph

*Also attending various BBQs.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Sweet


"Gone to a sweeter home."

Gramma Nut gave him a great deal on a place in the lollipop woods, but those gooey gumdrops make the commute a bitch.

Thursday, May 27, 2010

The Joy of Carving


"I'm gonna put a happy little tree right here, and then a nice cloud here, and this barn over here is gonna be our little secret..."

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Be Cool


I think "police officer" would have sounded more official.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

And Then


The tombstone guy was in such a hurry* that he abbreviated the word "and".
I'm sure this "husband upside-down 4 father" really appreciates his h&y work.

*Wings concert?

Monday, May 24, 2010

misseD


I love that the wreckers listed their names right on the tombstone.

To hell with verb conjugation! Just get our names right!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Is there a mechanic in the house?

No amount of motor oil or transmission fluid* could bring back the beloved truck.

*This is the extent of my car knowledge. Perhaps I should have said antifreeze. Or Tide with bleach.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Stoned

These are a few of my favorite things:

The stone "bullseye".
The star "pasties".

The fact that someone signed the gravestone with a sharpie like you would a cast.

The fact that someone else tried to sign the top by carving into it, which wound up looking more like a keyed car.

Friday, May 21, 2010

CaPitAliZaTIon

is really complicated*.

*Don't even get me started on commas.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Tweety Done Wrong

What we have here is the rarely seen eternal copyright infringement stone.

I wanted to know why Tweety's head was so squished (putty tat?), so I did a little Google image search and found this:


That's right, with all the correctly proportioned images of Tweety out there to "borrow", these wreckers chose the one coloring page file that has been incorrectly scaled and stretched.  I guess they really wanted this image of Tweety hunting vampires (vampiwahs?).

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Behind the Times

Tractors are so last season. Also what gives with the preemptive tombstone? It's not attached to any other family members 'next door' in the cemetery.

I can't wait to see what items* future generations choose to feature on tombstones.


*Probably iPhones.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Travel Tip II

We all know the old saying:

"When traveling to heaven, don't drink the water."

Monday, May 17, 2010

Inconsistent

Do we end these thoughts with a period? Or not?

Do we use a sans serif font? Or serifs?

Ah what the hell - just use 'em all.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Emoticon


This one is a little hidden folks. Click on the photo and check out the area below and to the right of the dates.

Adding :o) to a tombstone is, well, totally kick ass IMHO. It makes me wanna LOL, ROFL, TTL*, and BRB.

*Tax, title, and license.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Sci Fi Done Wrong

Those are the biggest f*cking birds I have ever seen.

Obviously the light house has been converted into some sort of bird death ray in an attempt to save the planet, but it's too late. The moon (or sun?) has already crashed into that cliff.

"You blew it up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!"

Friday, May 14, 2010

Can I Borrow a Pen?

Hello, and welcome to heaven! Before we get started on eternal bliss, harp lessons, bouncing on fluffy clouds, and so forth, we're gonna need you to sign these release forms.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Dog Leg

Check out Frankendog with his mismatched legs! I guess the mad scientist screwed up his first attempt and had to borrow a leg from the neighbor's cat*.

*RIP Mittens.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Smells Funky Fresh


What better place to keep beautiful fresh flowers than in a stinky old boot?

{deep inhale}

AAAAAAAAHHHHHcough,hack,coughHHHHHHH.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Flair Overload


These folks took one look at the flair catalog and said, "Yes."

Check out the creepy solar powered light. You're welcome, Sabrina P.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

More Fun With Music


This is a prime example of treble clef abuse. Also note* that there are music notes before and after one of the treble clefs. That's just not right.


*HA!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Long Live the Music


What we have here are the rarely seen billboard music notes, which of course are created when you play a stringless guitar.

Friday, May 7, 2010

Strike Two




These stones are side by side in the cemetery and belong to the same family.

As you can see, the first one is suffering from a little spacing issue. I can just hear the family when it came time to make the second stone:
"Can you please not run all the words together on the book? Or we might accidentally run some words together on your check. Thanks."

So the tombstone guy got all worked up and was super extra careful with the spacing on the second marker, only to completely omit the apostrophe.

"Dammit."

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Misspelled (?)


What's worse? Being nicknamed "Sketter", or being nicknamed "Skeeter" and having your name misspelled for all eternity?

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Daffy


Yes, of course you chose Daffy Duck* for the tombstone. I can hear him now, yelling his heartwarming catch phrase...

"You're dispicable!"

*Why did they shave his head?

Monday, May 3, 2010

Thru the Years


Should we spell out "through"?

Nah, that's only for formal occasions.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Can't Spell


Apparently earth has a boat load of challenged spellers that heaven cannot heal.