Three's a Charm

Ah, yes. A better land. A land of domestic beers, cheap-ass lawn chairs, fishin' holes, and skanky* bowling alleys.

*My spell check doesn't know this word. Apparently it attended some fancy ivy league school.

Wordy

You know that neighbor you run into and you're trapped for like an hour listening to a painfully detailed description of his prized rosebushes and his only daughter that's so fantastic at goat herding and cheese making but really she's a total zero and no matter how many steps you back up or how many times you look at your watch he
just
won't
stop
talking?

RIP neighbor.

Crafty

Apparently this guy's life insurance was paid out in Hobby Lobby gift cards.

Jesus' BFF

Is Null the last name? Or did the order form say "null"?

What's with the giant eagle?

Who cares? All I want to know about is the apparent "Jesus loves me more battle" that went on between this victim and the person who ordered his tombstone.

You all are a bunch of dicks.

This just in from my number one super fan!

Yes, folks, that tombstone says "schlong".

Thanks, Explorer0713, for joining in on the phallic fun.

It's a Miracle

And there was much rejoicing.