Saturday, October 31, 2009

Halloween Bonus

Okay, technically not a wreck, but totally AWESOME.

Happy Halloween!

OMG, this tombstone has horsehead bookends!!!!

For those of you not familiar with the movie Student Bodies, please educate yourselves below:

Now go rent the movie and make your Halloween complete. Stay safe and have fun everyone!

Friday, October 30, 2009


I really "enjoy" the "mystery" surrounding this "tombstone".

I wonder if "Rosebud" refers to "Buddy" or "Rosie"?

Maybe there should be a "limit" on the number of "quotation marks" used on any one "grave marker", because "seriously", this gets "annoying".

Thursday, October 29, 2009

James Taylor's Biggest Fan

Ah, yes, how sweet it is indeed.

Wait - what are we referring to here? Death? To be loved by you?

Oh, I know, how sweet it is to use that handy tube to shout orders at unsuspecting passers by. "I would like a cheeseburger!" "Bring me more glass pebbles!" Of course.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Virgin Alarm

Apparently the Virgin Mary had to step out for a minute.

Starbucks run? (I'll bet her caramel macchiato is made with holy water.) Union mandated break? Or maybe she's hiding out in a local nativity scene, snickering, and texting Jesus that no one has noticed she's the "real" Mary.

Okay wreck fans, here's your chance to get in on the action: Where the hell is the Virgin Mary?

Comment and let us know, or Mary just might show up at your place, asking to crash on your couch, and the next thing you know the 12 disciples are totally raiding your fridge and hogging your ping pong table.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Troubled Youth

When I first read this poem, I started to picture a cranky old man muttering it at me. "MMmmmph, don't remember me at all, damn kids..."

Then I looked at the dates.

He's just a kid! I'll bet he's somewhere stomping his feet and demanding graham crackers. No lambs or little angels here, just a poem that manages to ever so gently give us the finger.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Eternal Fall

You know that nickname you have, that's kind of cute and funny, but is also kind of embarrassing?

Well hold on to your hats people, because that nickname might actually follow you to the grave. BWAHAHAHAHA!

Yep. This 51 year old grown man will be forever remembered as "Punkin". And as if that wasn't punishment enough, his family felt it necessary to illustrate his nickname with pumpkin flair.

We can only hope that someone in this family is nicknamed "Dick".

Sunday, October 25, 2009

The Scenic Route

Technology is great. Now you can take that lovely picture on the back window of your pickup truck and put it right on your tombstone.

The only thing missing here is the support our troops ribbon. And a beer.

If this tombstone had a sequel, I'm fairly certain it would be full of guns and bleeding animal carcasses.

Sigh. Someone forgot to put in the giant wolf head. What a shame.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Give Us Some Credit

That's right, we chipped in at least $17.00 for this tombstone. It's only fair that we're listed on there.

Friday, October 23, 2009

Anatomy of a Tomb Wreck

Before I post any more delightful tomb photos, I'd like to clue you all in on some key terms here at Tomb Wrecks.

First, the folks lucky enough to have their grave marker featured here are referred to as 'victims'. They are all victims of life. (They're all dead, right?)

Secondly, to protect the identity of our victims, and to generally avoid pissing people off, we add 'victim boxes' to our photos to cover names.

And last but certainly not least, we refer to unusual graphics on tombstones as 'flair'. The gentlemen in the above wreck has a lovely cross (normal) opposite some cardinal flair (WTF?).

Everyone got it? Great. Let us wreck on.

Don't Let the Music Die

This tombstone is chock full of wrecky qualities, so much so that it has earned the coveted 'first wreck' spot!

First, any tombstone that says "play that funky music" is a winner in my book.

Next, I'd like to talk about the frightening disk objects at the bottom. Records? CDs? UFOs? Evil eyes? (Look for it, that tombstone is totally staring at you.)

Oh, and while we're on the subject of flair, check out the crooked music notes. The third one is as though an eighth note and a half note had a love child.

And finally, I absolutely love the fact that the title of "DJ" is on the stone. Unless those two gray victim boxes are covering the names "Jazzy" and "Jeff"*, I don't think this guy can pull that off.

*They aren't. I checked.