Thursday, April 29, 2010

Bad Ass

This is what happens when you let a tattoo artist design your tombstone.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Rock of Ages

Either this is a proposed Def Leppard album cover*, or the tombstone guy inadvertently made this woman appear as though she is, ahem, humping that cross.

*I know it's tough to see, but the stone reads "Rock of Ages" under the "sculpture".

Saturday, April 24, 2010

Beware of Bear

Don't be fooled by the cutesy heart - that vampire bat-bear wants to eat you.

Friday, April 23, 2010

Thursday, April 22, 2010

In Memory Of

Excellent work, wreckers. You've successfully made these tombstones appear as though the surviving family members are dead.

Discussion Questions:
1. Do you think the bird poop was specifically placed next to the bird flair to make some sort of artistic statement? Explain.
2. Who the hell is this "Susie"?
3. Did you notice that both tombstones were erected in 1996? So what?

*IN RESPONSE TO A BAJILLION COMMENTS* That's not a pentagram, it's the symbol for the Order of the Eastern Star.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Naming Names

Tomb Wreck Excellence = the words bush, erect, and cock together on one tombstone.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Type A

Turns out the date was in his Outlook calendar all along. And on a post-it note on his fridge.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Fill in the Blank

"I believe _______________."

I'll get everyone started:

I can fly.
The children are our future.
In miracles.

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Hell's Angel

Never mind that the bike doesn't match the rest of the tombstone - check out the creepy alien hanging out where the engine should be.

I think OCC needs to make this bike for Sigourney Weaver.

Monday, April 12, 2010

Bird Brain

This is what happens when you stick your face too close to a fan to hear what your "tweet" sounds like.

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Dueling Tombstones cont.

Tombstone A:

Tombstone B:

Everyone ready to play? Here we go.

I can spot 3 differences in the church images. Can you?

I should also mention that these tombstones are neighbors in the cemetery and don't share the same surname. I think someone is a copycat.

Saturday, April 10, 2010


I'm skipping right over the "till we meet again (dot dot dot)" and the intriguing "devoted animal lover" inscription and going straight to the depiction of "love everlasting".

What's up with a gate that doesn't connect to anything on the other side? Seems pretty useless. Even if it did connect it's too short to reach. That's okay, tombstone guy, foreshortening can be tricky.

What I really can't figure out is where is the man's shadow? The crappy gate has one. The nice lady has one (well, she got half of one anyway).

Friday, April 9, 2010

I "heart" 1920

This is the only date on the stone. 1920. Date of birth? Date of death?

After much thought*, I've decided that the stone is for the year 1920.
Let's face it - it was a bitchin' year**.

*Like 20 seconds. Tops.

**We elected one of the worst presidents in history. Party.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Easy Rider

I'm fairly certain we're referring to the horse here, because let's face it, a horse with an extra 5 feet of torso comes along once in a lifetime.

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Stake Your Claim

If I see any bird, it will be you?
Or just hummingbirds?

I love how this victim has claimed all birds. Now we'll all be selecting random objects to represent us on our tombstones...

I claim cupcakes. No, wiener dogs. If you see a wiener dog, it will be me.

Monday, April 5, 2010


Are we to believe that Christ is buried here?

Or did the wreckers throw in the cross as if to say, "Yeah, Bob* here was the freakin' creator of beauty laughter and love**, but that Christ guy wasn't so bad himself."

*Bob = totally made up.

**Commas are omitted to be true to the wreck.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Playing Favorites

Even Santa is embarrassed by this unfair abbreviation situation.

Sorry, Bro.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Friday, April 2, 2010

Alien Invasion

The flair on this tombstone is so bad, it's as though aliens crafted it (poorly) to blend in with surrounding earthling graves.

I'll start with the birds. WTF!!?? The one on the left has apparently been twisted in half and then shoved back onto the branch.

And the deer? (giggle) Let's just say I'm pretty sure that late at night those deer eyes shoot laser beams back to the mother ship.

Can we get a surveillance camera set up on this thing or what?

Thursday, April 1, 2010


I see what's going on here.

That tombstone was a floor demo at the tombstone shop and you just threw in a name and a date on the bottom.

Well played, wreckers, except if you're gonna pull these types of stunts at least change "Jesus" to "Jeebus".
Or "George W."
Or "Tom Cruise".